Happy Thanksgiving

Juliette spent the day with her Great Grandmother Bammy, Grandmothers Kay and Geraldine, Grandfather Ken, Aunt Maggie, Mommy and Papa in Bethesda, Maryland.

Juliette wore her new Lord & Taylor red and white Holiday outfit and her new patent leather mary janes.

Her Grandfather Ken shared a slide-show he made of Juliette held by various members of her family.

Juliette was the life of the party. The center of our holiday.

Happy first Thanksgiving Juliette!

Juliette is Changing

Juliette grabs my glasses and pulls.
Julliette grabs her Papa's glasses and pulls.
Juliette grabs the pages of any book I happen to be reading when she thinks she deserves my undivided attention.
Juliette gives me the get-me-out-of-prison stare when I leave her in her crib.
Juliette wants my Precise-Pilot-Rolling-Ball-Fine-Pens and blue 4 X 8 index cards, cell phone, and journal.
Juliette does not want the blinking-light toy, the mirror rattle that plays the "wheels on the bus go round and round" song, the Noukie-Cloth book that makes bird chirping and honk-honk sounds.
Juliette does not want to eat solid food. She would rather taste solid food.
Juliette drinks from large glasses of water with gusto, while gripping the glass with her tiny hands.
Juliette is 16 pounds, up from 2 pounds and x ounces, not bad.
Juliette inspires me to kiss her all over her chubby, spitty cheeks. It is my pleasure.
Juliette's eyes are where the sun and the moon rise and set.
Juliette is the point around which the world turns.
Juliette is my whittle-whittle, my we-we, my winky-dinky.
Juliette is almost 9-months old, two months longer than last winter, when I carried her warmly under my heart, and joyfully entwined with my soul - where she will always be.
Juliette is pretty, smart, and so lovely.
Juliette is my imperial one, my princess, and my Queen.
Juliette is a great teacher, she has taught me that joy has no limits.
Juliette is joy.
Juliette is love.
Juliette is my heart.

Another Rainly Fall Day

Juliette sits on my lap and studies my arm. She likes to dig her little nails into my skin until it hurts. I pull her sharp nails away. She waits and strikes again. Dig, dig, scratch.

It is raining buckets today. It is many shades of gray. It is cold. We have been in the apartment all day. We watched a movie about Marie Antoinette. Why do we like reading about Royal Families, past and present? Royal dream-worlds intoxicate us. We like to watch ordinary, flawed people (chosen by the randomness of birth)in opulent dream worlds.

Juliette is bored with me. I try to entertain her. It is 5:15 PM and I am all out of tricks. I can only place soft, sweet kisses on the pillowy cheeks of my dear sweet Juliette. She cradles my chin in return. We are friends.

Seven Loads of Laundry!

Today I ran from my apartment to the laundry room five times. Once to the lobby to add money to my laundry card. Only once with the baby on my hip with a cart in front.

I had lunch. The baby had lunch. Formula and rice cereal for her. Frozen fried shrimp, miniature quiche and spinach and potatoe pancakes for me.

Then the baby slept in her crib from 1:00 PM to 3:52 PM. The first time she has done this in months and months. I was free to run back and forth, back and forth, and back and forth to the washing machines and dryers. Juliette slept this cloudy, gray, cold, fall day away.

In between running, I looked for homes on the real estate websites Anne and Vivi sent yesterday. They called the listings "Houses for Juliette!" On the Rockville, Potomic websites I found 10 goods homes. On the Silver Spring website I found about 20.

Juliette is 8 months and six days today.
She won't eat solid food from a spoon.
She's growing and she's healthy.
She pulls my glasses off.
She grabs everything in sight, within reach.
She often laughs hard.
Her hair is coming in.
She can sit up and shred magazines and catalogs.
She loves her Rainforest Jumparoo.
She is falling out of love with her Rainforest Bouncy chair and Rainforest swing. She moans and groans a great deal.
She likes the sound of her voice, I think.
She likes the computer keyboard. When I pull her hand away she moans and groans.

Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)

Mom called this morning and said she was suffering from SAD.
C. called later and said he was suffering from SAD today.

I am sad. I actually cried to the Enchanted April film score. It was sad and fit the mood of this golden, orange, yellow and brown fall day. I cried because today reminded me of the Fall of 2006 when I was pregnant with my sweet girl, and how the seasons changed as I changed. Then, I wondered what she or he would look like, what Motherhood would feel like. Now I know. Today, I am so completely changed, no longer the person who watched the leaves fall, wondered about Motherhood, felt sick every day, and dreamed about the future.

Today, the weather is beautiful. It is still warm.

It is quiet. The baby dressed in royal blue is sleeping.

Today's schedule:

8:00 AM to 9:00 AM: Feeding
9:00 AM to 10:00 AM: Play
10:00 AM to 12:30 AM: Nap
12:30 PM to 3:15 PM: Play / Feeding
3:15 PM to 4:00 PM: Nap
4:00 PM to Play...

badbabywinkydinky

Bye-Bye Tinky-Winky, Dipsy, La-La, and Poe! Juliette loves the Teletubbies! She finally found people from her "culture."

Today is my birthday! I am spending the day in a messy apartment with my little girl. At some point today we will each have a bath. I will probably comb my hair and get dressed. I am also planning a trip to Starbucks this evening.

I hope to work on my lecture material and my dissertation re-organization.

Today I feel ambitious.

10:59 p.m.
So much for ambition. So much for my birthday. I took a hot shower.
I got to Starbucks. I got through most of my Cafe Americano with Almond Syrup before my cell phone rang with news of a meltdown by one tired, bad baby ( I won't name names).

Happy Birthday to you.
Happy Birthday to you.
Happy Birthday Dear Hilary.
Happy Birthday to you.

Calling her my little Winky Dinky over the cell phone only worked momentarily. Driving home and taking her in my arms worked much, much better.

Happy Birthday Dear Hilary.

Bad, baby, Winky Dinky fell asleep in my arms at 9:58 p.m. Sweet Dreams.

Six-months and Counting

Juliette does not take naps. Even when she's tired and cranky. She cries and cries and nothing I do makes her happy. Every once in awhile she will see the logic of falling back, closing her eyes, and napping. During a rare nap I slowly drop her into her crib, close the curtains, and creep out of the darkened room to do something vital (i.e., eating, use the toilet, prepare a lecture, read an article, wash dishes, etc.). Most of the day I hold Juliette and try, try, try and try again to work. It is already 5:33 PM and Juliette has been held most of the day. Today, we both got clean: one warm soapy bath and one hot shower. She has had several meals, mostly formula and a few licks of spinach and potato baby food. I had one small over-cooked frozen small frozen vegetarian lasagna. Hours before the lasagna, I had a small cup of hot tea with the last of the evaporated milk, I finished the fresh milk this morning with an even smaller cup of coffee. I dream of Starbucks. As soon as Chris comes through the door, I am out of the door, on my way to Starbucks with lecture materials in hand. I tired to clean/organize the main room today. I want so much to welcome Fall, 2007 with a cleaner space than we passed Summer, 2007. I will try again on Thursday. I teach tomorrow, with an early morning medical appointment, which means packing up and leaving for my Mother's early, like 11:30AM. Long night ahead , writing a lecture and re-writing my syllabus. I can't wait until Thursday, the first of several cherished days off.