Happy New Year Little One
Juliette rang in the New Year with us, a drop of Charles de Fere Champagne, Reserve, Blanc de Blancs, Brut, Product of France, on her lips. She laughed and giggled as we toasted one another. Le petite family for her first New Years, 2008.
How sweet, how special. We drank our wedding champagne out of our green Villeroy Boch wedding crystal glasses. We-we had a sip from mine.
We watched Andersen Cooper count down, ten-nine-eight-seven-six-five-four-three-two-one!Happy New Year!!!
All is peaceful, all is calm.
Happy New Year Juliette!

Houses and a White Fake Fur Cap

Today we searched for open houses. We-we sat proudly and joyfully in her car seat happy about spending time away from the apartment, despite the rain, gray sky and cold temperature. We drove around and found our first open house quickly, it was awful and ONLY $474,000. The second house was strange and a better form of awful, it was reduced from $780,000 to $650,000: a black marble-walled room in the basement with a bidet. Why?

We drove back to our current house of interest still "offered" at $599,000.
The baby slept, cooed, and TALKED. Juliette speaks, not clearly but she makes sounds that are like words. She smiles sweetly and intelligently, like she actually knows what she is smiling about. Smiling intelligently and words, life is good.

A bottle of formula in the car, on the run.
Then home, warm and dry.
Down for a late-afternoon nap after much whining and half-crying on the phone with Grandmother Geraldine.
Up! Awake and jumping on the bed, another bottle of milk, more sleep.
Lifted up from our bed and placed with care into her crib.
Much later the sleep-sack is slipped on and zipped closed.

Good-night sweet girl. There is just one more day in 2007, soon we will re-live the days leading up to your birth on February 19th. I will always have something to look forward to after Christimas and the New Year.
Oh! The magical, mysterious, feeling that filled the day you were born.
I love, love, love that day and every day after that.
The magic of those early days, a thin layer of frost covered everything when you were born.
I changed forever when you were born.
That cold, ice, dark winter day is the best day I know.
The magic has not stopped as the world quickly changed from the winter cold day you were born, to the sunny, warm spring day you came home to us, to hot summer when you slept all day for weeks and weeks, to fall when you started to laugh out loud, and now winter cold and gray when you speak to us.
Darling girl.

Between Juliette's First Christmas and New Year 2008

Christmas eve was spent alone and all night, with Grandmother Geraldine and Aunt Romy in Columbia, Maryland. Mommy and Daddy went to dinner with Ken, Kay, Aunt Doris, Aunt Maggie, Uncle Tom and great-grandmother Bammie at La Fermier a French restaurant in Bethesda, Maryland. I spent the night away from you for the first time since the NICU. It was hard. I woke at 2:30 am and stared and stared at your empty crib. I could not sleep. It was hard not hearing you sucking your little fingers on and off all night.

My whittle, whittle.
My wee, wee.
My dear, sweet, Juliette.

Christmas morning Mommy and Daddy were in Columbia, Maryland early to pick you and Aunt Romy up and drive you both to Christmas dinner in Bethesda at Grandmother Kay and Grandfather Ken's house. You fell asleep in the car on the way.

Dressed in your festive Ralph Lauren dress, white infant tights, and black patent leather Mary Janes, and warm wool Ralph Lauren sweater.

You received many, many gifts from all. A Walt Disney Musical Crib Mobile from Bammie, a Teddy Bear from Aunt Maggie, a stuffed Tiger from the Natural History Museum from Kay and assorted small toys from Ken.

The day after Christmas was spent with Uncle Al and Aunt Romy and grandmother Geraldine in Columbia. Uncle Al bought us a digital frame to display all of your pictures (there are now hundreds of them). Uncle Al also gave you $60.00 in cash for toys or clothes. Aunt Romy bought you clothes, your first pair of blue jeans, silk blouse and navy leather loafers.

Yesterday, we (you, me, Grandmother Geraldine, and Aunt Romy) went to White Flint mall in Rockville, Maryland. and spent the $60.00 on clothes Uncle Al gave you for Christmas. We bought several pairs of pants: pink-velour jeans by Guess from Bloomingdales, red-cotton leggings from the Gap, pink-cotton leggings and pink psychodelic patterned courdoroy pants from Lord and Taylor. Tops: three cotton tops from the Gap, two pink-polka-dot tops and one solid red-cotton-top with ruffles around the collar, one black turtle-neck top with an image of a cat in leopard print fabric with a red-velevet bow around its neck(you love fingering the red-velvet bow on the leopard print cat) from Gymboree. Socks: lots of socks with kittens, puppies and flower designs.

You slept through lunch. We played with paper at the Borders, Books and Music cafe.

Today you are trying to walk, crawl, move around, mostly towards me. You laugh, you cry, you are now sleeping peacefully in your crib. I changed the sheets for you. I am washing loads of laundry for you.

I love my sweet, beautiful, delightful Juliette.

The year of your birth 2007 is going, going, almost gone.

Getting to Know Juliette

Today I turned a corner with my feelings for Juliette.
I feel I really know my little girl in ways that were hidden a few weeks ago.
At 9-months and three-weeks my baby girl is my special friend.
Juliette laughs loudly with me.
We spend whole days together

We went to the Mall in Columbia, Maryland. My childhood mall.
We found lovely x-mas, all red and velvet, clothes in Nordstrom. I have two red velvet things on hold until tomorrow. Mom can help me chose one or none. I have been to the mall twice in two days. I love the holiday mall.

We had lunch at Nordstrom, Salmon, roasted potatos, and veggies. We had coffee and sweet potato cake for desert.

Walking through the mall we found a most disappointing Santa Claus, he had tiny silver bells tied to the ends of his mustake. Pictures will be taken with a different Santa at a different mall, the White Flint Santa and mall.

Juliette's first Thanksgiving outfit was just okay, not great. I want great for x-mas.

Tomorrow I teach my last class for a 16-week long semester. I started celebrating tonight. Its is over! It is over!

Had to be the worst summer and fall in spots, not all parts, I have known. The letting go of old relationships that no longer functioned, leaving C & M, was hard. Hard to forget the moment we said goodbye, it haunts me still. Our goodbye was, in the end, forced by one angry she was to be left behind. She forced the ending, a bloodly unfair thing, all out resisting the inevitable. So one person of three spoiled all three having a decent farewell, a it has been fun, enjoy your life type ending. One in the three sent all feelings crashing and burning, for a brief moment, creating a hell-like rage, fury. A final act of absolute destruction with forging an alliance with the other one who was also to be dropped. Now, they have each other.

This year I have also known the beginning of a new relationship, a new life, all that is good for me, all that is sunshine, all that is complete, and now closed to outsiders. We are mother and daughter.

I designed an x-mas card starring Juliette. I will pick it up tomorrow.

Merry x-mas to all and to all a good night...

Juliette's First Snow Day

Today is Juliette's first snow day. So instead of spending the day with Granny in Columbia, Maryland without Me she is spending this day indoors with both Mommy and Daddy.

I moved Juliette's Jumparoo next to a window, a floor-to-ceiling picture window. In front of this window she can spin her cloth sit around and see the winter wonderland, black stick-like trees covered in huge white puffy snow flakes.

Last year on this day, December 5th (2006), I had parathyroid surgery at Johns Hopkins Hospital in Baltimore, Maryland. The surgery was performed by Dr. Daqiw, an Endocrinolgist, Professor and Surgeon. The surgery was very painful, but improved my situation considerably. Within days of the surgery I was eating and drinking some. I was 5-months pregnant with Juliette, however, the main risk of surgery was loss of pregnancy. Nothing was lost.

After surgery, my in-laws called to check on me weekly. I started eating sushi (cooked) regularly and walking to Starbucks after. Then home to bed and cable television. Little did I know, I only had two more months of pregnancy to go. I felt nauseous everyday after surgery and smells, liquids, and food continued to be a problem.

Today, my beautfiul Juliette looks out on the snow and I will soon call Johns Hopkins to see if my class has been offocially cancelled.

A snow day for the Rogers family.