Juliette stayed at Grandmother Geraldine's house for the third day in a row. She is silent. She is playful. She is very, very, very active. I am so tired by the time we get to Silver Spring and she is not. I feel so impatient and unable to deal with her activity-level after a long day of tedious dissertation work. I feel so GUILTY. Juliette is a good sport for putting up with me and my work.
It strikes me how much she looks like a baby, like a 9-months-old baby. She is still very small although she is walking and pointing and talking (sort of). She is still a baby.
Juliette makes me want more babies, this is purely emotional. Intellectually I want the baby I have...just her, just one. I understand why people have so many, having babies is a powerful experience.
Having Juliette is so wonderful, daily-wonderful. The pregnancy, the delivery (even with its complications), the early days, the later days (i.e., now), future days, all is wonderful.
Juliette is WONDERFUL!
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Longing for 2007
I find myself looking back to when Juliette was newborn, so small, and so new.
Now she is walking (while holding something), she is alert, she is much bigger. She is attached to me. She is DIFFERENT. She gets better and better everyday, so why do I long for the arly days? Because life was so new, so different, so unlike anything I had ever known. I liked the way I had changed so rapidly and significantly from the moment Juliette was born. I was never to be the person I always thought I was. i was someone new, a MOM, Juliette's MOM. So that is why I long for the early days, I long for the stinging, tingling, newness life offered me after years and years of the same. You only get better and I have grown used to being your mother and life is good, very good.
You are soon to have a new home on Martin's Diary Circle in Olney, Maryland. Now I can watch my beautiful girl grow in her beautiful home. Only the best for my dear, sweet, lovely girl...my We-We, my Whittle-Whittle, my sunshine, my moon, my star, my heart, my life, my soul, my Juliette. Is it okay if I call you mine, if just for a time...
I find myself looking back to when Juliette was newborn, so small, and so new.
Now she is walking (while holding something), she is alert, she is much bigger. She is attached to me. She is DIFFERENT. She gets better and better everyday, so why do I long for the arly days? Because life was so new, so different, so unlike anything I had ever known. I liked the way I had changed so rapidly and significantly from the moment Juliette was born. I was never to be the person I always thought I was. i was someone new, a MOM, Juliette's MOM. So that is why I long for the early days, I long for the stinging, tingling, newness life offered me after years and years of the same. You only get better and I have grown used to being your mother and life is good, very good.
You are soon to have a new home on Martin's Diary Circle in Olney, Maryland. Now I can watch my beautiful girl grow in her beautiful home. Only the best for my dear, sweet, lovely girl...my We-We, my Whittle-Whittle, my sunshine, my moon, my star, my heart, my life, my soul, my Juliette. Is it okay if I call you mine, if just for a time...
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Juliette's Denim Overalls
Juliette is now 1-year and two-months old! She is wearing a pair of size 9-month denim overalls. She is very cute in them. She watches the Noggin Chanel on Cable Televison everyday now. She is watching an episode showing English pre-schoolers plant potatoes in their garden. She watches with a great deal of interest.
Juliette self-fed for the first time ever yesterday. I gave her a bowl of cottage cheese in a small bowl with a bright-colored toddler's spoon. Later, with cheese in her hair, covering her top and bottoms, the high-chair, and the floor Juliette sat licking the bowl. I'd say her first self-feeding was a success.
Sleeping has improved. Down by 10:30PM and up twelve hours later with not wakings at night. This is progress. For the past month she wanted a 4:00AM bottle, after going down at 1:00AM, just like in the early days.
Juliette can stand without holding on, but can not walk without assistance.
Juliette is now 1-year and two-months old! She is wearing a pair of size 9-month denim overalls. She is very cute in them. She watches the Noggin Chanel on Cable Televison everyday now. She is watching an episode showing English pre-schoolers plant potatoes in their garden. She watches with a great deal of interest.
Juliette self-fed for the first time ever yesterday. I gave her a bowl of cottage cheese in a small bowl with a bright-colored toddler's spoon. Later, with cheese in her hair, covering her top and bottoms, the high-chair, and the floor Juliette sat licking the bowl. I'd say her first self-feeding was a success.
Sleeping has improved. Down by 10:30PM and up twelve hours later with not wakings at night. This is progress. For the past month she wanted a 4:00AM bottle, after going down at 1:00AM, just like in the early days.
Juliette can stand without holding on, but can not walk without assistance.
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
Juliette is in the bath!
Juliette stands in her bath water. Sucks on her rubber duck. Splashes with her hands. Drinks the soapy water.
She grunts but does not talk.
She stands but does not walk.
She tastes but does not eat solid food.
She throws everything on the floor...she just threw her rubber duck out of the bath.
She smiles.
She hums.
She likes Noggin a cable channel for toddlers.
She has more hair.
She wears shoes.
She stays up late at night.
She is tall.
She is thin.
She has seven new summer outfits from American Classics in White Flint Mall.
She went to the Mall two days in a row last week.
Today we will go to blockbuster video to return videos and take a walk someplace.
Juliette stands in her bath water. Sucks on her rubber duck. Splashes with her hands. Drinks the soapy water.
She grunts but does not talk.
She stands but does not walk.
She tastes but does not eat solid food.
She throws everything on the floor...she just threw her rubber duck out of the bath.
She smiles.
She hums.
She likes Noggin a cable channel for toddlers.
She has more hair.
She wears shoes.
She stays up late at night.
She is tall.
She is thin.
She has seven new summer outfits from American Classics in White Flint Mall.
She went to the Mall two days in a row last week.
Today we will go to blockbuster video to return videos and take a walk someplace.
Sunday, April 6, 2008
Juliette was in a fashion show today!
Juliette was a model in a fashion show, held by her Grandmother Geraldine. The applause was deafening! She was a hit.
We picked up Juliette's annual portraits at the mall and they were great! She is a real beauty.
She ate lots of food at Nordstrom's restaurant. She had grilled Salmon, roasted potatoes, boiled egg, and creme brulee. Chased by ice-water.
Juliette was a model in a fashion show, held by her Grandmother Geraldine. The applause was deafening! She was a hit.
We picked up Juliette's annual portraits at the mall and they were great! She is a real beauty.
She ate lots of food at Nordstrom's restaurant. She had grilled Salmon, roasted potatoes, boiled egg, and creme brulee. Chased by ice-water.
Thursday, April 3, 2008
Juliette Gets Immunized Tomorrow
She gets the Chickenpox vaccine (varicella, Hepatitis A, and the dreaded MMR vaccine(measules, mumps and rubella) vaccine. I hope everything goes well. I am scared by the media attention this topic is currently getting for it's suspected relationship with some unknown genetic autism trigger. CNN ran a full day of coverage on autism and its suspected causes. I hope things go well for my bright, sweet beautiful Juliette.
Yesterday was the one-year anniversary of Juliette's first year home from the NICU. She was discharged on a warm, sunny spring day.
April 2, 2007, 8:56 AM
"Lee just called from the respiratory therapy department at Johns Hopkins University. We need to schedule training for today, HCGH just called and let her know that Juliette will be released today. Joy! Fear! Today? I scheduled for later today as opposed to "Right Now!" I said, "I can't get to the hospital right now. I have to get dressed. What about this afternoon?" Lee said, "Okay. What about between 2-3 PM today?" I said, "Okay, that's good." I feel tearful. Hopeful. Happy. Numb. The baby is all mine...in just a few short hours I will be responsible for all of her care. The time has come for no more NICU. My crutch is gone and I am a full-time Mom from this moment on. This day will change my life forever and ever. Juliette is coming home!!!
5:50PM Juliette is home! She makes quacking sounds. Otherwise she appears comfortable, she is in her crib with her eyes closed. Today happens to be the most beautiful day we haev had so far this year. It is warm, sunny, blossoms of yellow, white, and pink are everywhere. We could not have had a brighter day. I am full of joy. I am happier than I've ever been. I cried when I remembered the winter day. The ice storm that left everything covered in "glass" on February 19, 2007, the day my little girl came into the world. The maternal and child unit had a new life quality. I felt I passed from one world to another where even the sunlight cast a new and original light. It was the same feeling I had after my wedding, during my honeymoon. The six-weeks of the NICU have been a blur, more like three weeks. We drobe thirty-minutes or thirty-six miles every night through ice-storms, frigid cold, rain, sunshine and gray skies. Often just to sit with our Juliette for a few hours before turning around and coming home again. So I cried when I signed the discharge papers."
She gets the Chickenpox vaccine (varicella, Hepatitis A, and the dreaded MMR vaccine(measules, mumps and rubella) vaccine. I hope everything goes well. I am scared by the media attention this topic is currently getting for it's suspected relationship with some unknown genetic autism trigger. CNN ran a full day of coverage on autism and its suspected causes. I hope things go well for my bright, sweet beautiful Juliette.
Yesterday was the one-year anniversary of Juliette's first year home from the NICU. She was discharged on a warm, sunny spring day.
April 2, 2007, 8:56 AM
"Lee just called from the respiratory therapy department at Johns Hopkins University. We need to schedule training for today, HCGH just called and let her know that Juliette will be released today. Joy! Fear! Today? I scheduled for later today as opposed to "Right Now!" I said, "I can't get to the hospital right now. I have to get dressed. What about this afternoon?" Lee said, "Okay. What about between 2-3 PM today?" I said, "Okay, that's good." I feel tearful. Hopeful. Happy. Numb. The baby is all mine...in just a few short hours I will be responsible for all of her care. The time has come for no more NICU. My crutch is gone and I am a full-time Mom from this moment on. This day will change my life forever and ever. Juliette is coming home!!!
5:50PM Juliette is home! She makes quacking sounds. Otherwise she appears comfortable, she is in her crib with her eyes closed. Today happens to be the most beautiful day we haev had so far this year. It is warm, sunny, blossoms of yellow, white, and pink are everywhere. We could not have had a brighter day. I am full of joy. I am happier than I've ever been. I cried when I remembered the winter day. The ice storm that left everything covered in "glass" on February 19, 2007, the day my little girl came into the world. The maternal and child unit had a new life quality. I felt I passed from one world to another where even the sunlight cast a new and original light. It was the same feeling I had after my wedding, during my honeymoon. The six-weeks of the NICU have been a blur, more like three weeks. We drobe thirty-minutes or thirty-six miles every night through ice-storms, frigid cold, rain, sunshine and gray skies. Often just to sit with our Juliette for a few hours before turning around and coming home again. So I cried when I signed the discharge papers."
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